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There is nothing social about social media
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Hmm....
The start of my thought process was back in the old days doctors used to prescribe cigarettes for a cough. This is true, we didn’t know they were bad for us. And I think Facebook and social media in general is the same, we don’t know that it’s an addiction yet.
When I started thinking about this I realised I was constantly refreshing adverts and waiting for the occasional endorphin hit when I get a notification.
Oh, you didn’t know? A flashing light and a small “ding” sound - yeap, they release endorphins in your brain which is a small high like you would get from excercise, eating chocolate, sex etc.
So I did an experiment - I unliked ALL the pages I had liked over the years to see what actually comes up on my feed.
To give it some context, my job is travelling the world and I had maybe 5/600 friends that were real people I had met on my travels.
And guess what, my newsfeed barely refreshed. So what did this mean? The FB algorithm didn’t know what to do when it wasn’t processing commercials OR actually no1 had time to be social inbetween refreshing adverts? Either way I realised there is nothing social about social media - I barely actually talk to people.
Why haven’t I posted to my FB account in maybe a year and why don’t I comment on other people status?? Well, if me and you are friends and I comment on your status, that would show up on day my cousins page “x commented y on z’s status” okay but my cousin doesn’t even know z, so that’s an invasion of privacy. I also broke up with my ex and didn’t actually want to post things (haha).
As I mentioned I travel, and FB messenger is a genuinely useful tool for staying in contact with family back home and making plans with friends also abroad. FB has a good feature where you can deactivate you main FB account but keep messenger open, so silently I did it.
No dramatic status update “in 2 hours I’m deleting Facebook, comment goodbye below” lol nope 👎 I deleted it before my birthday and I wanted to see who actually knows these weirdly personal details like your bday. Turns out my close circle of friends, didn’t have a clue - my bday went and passed and none of them noticed (and still haven’t to this day), I got the usual messages from my family and my best friend since childhood and interestingly 2 of my travel friends knew and wished me happy bday, one even came to see me and brought pizza and a beer. Those very few genuine messages of well wishing released more endorphins than 150 “HBD” comments on my fb page, because they weren’t promoted by a website, they remembered it was my bday.
At this point, most people haven’t even noticed my account is deactivated and I’m slowly using WhatsApp more than messenger. I treat myself to a new phone and decided not to install messenger but instead to go back into my FB account and fully delete my account permanently! :O
Points to note: 1, you can download all your data, I.e. pictures so you don’t loose the memories 2, even after you permanently delete your account you still have 30 days cooling off period before it actually deletes
I’ve now been free of Facebook for about 6 months, no, I don’t have withdrawal symptoms. Yes, I am using Instagram more. My family only realised last week I’m not on Facebook when I casually mentioned I deleted it.
I have a few side notes:
1: I tried to go 100% non-smart, I purchased a Nokia 8110 because it had WiFi for hotspots and it had very basic maps, it could also retrieve email - but it was absolutely not a smart phone. This was too far off grid, it genuinely was too difficult- there are just some things about a smart phone that have changed the way we live and suddenly you don’t know how to get to a restaurant in a new city etc.
2: yes I’m aware Facebook own WhatsApp and Instagram - my problem is not with fb as a company it’s with social media as a concept - there is nothing social about social media.
3: I challenge you to not being your phone with you, just for one day and watch everyone around you, for sure they are swiping from top to bottom refreshing multiple social media’s at once waiting for that endorphin hit
4: my Instagram use has gone up, I have since realised I’ll never been an influencer, that’s just not my destiny, so I have made my account private and again started the purge of removing companies, meme pages and people I mildly know. I have left on a few fan pages, family and a few people who I genuinely enjoy interacting with. So yes Instagram will be the next to ween myself off.
5: you think because you use your FB account to sign into say tinder or candy crush etc. That you’ll have to set up new accounts everywhere - this isn’t true, you can still use the same email and password to sign into these 3rd party apps after you delete Facebook. But maybe double check, don’t take my word for it.
6: I generally have a weak and addictive personality, if I’m alone in the evening I tend to have a few beers, I have been smoking since I was 15 and tried multiple times to stop but a few months is as far as I got. So, quiting Facebook is easier than quiting cigarettes - now if only I could apply this same cold turkey attitude to smoking I’d be very proud of myself.
To close, thank you for reading this far. It’s a random post that doesn’t mean anything, I just wanted to put it out there that you can still be a human in the modern world without Facebook and social media, it’s possible to walk down a street without refreshing adverts and just enjoy the fresh air or the scenery etc. What I have not succeeded in yet is a full separation from smart phones, one step at a time.
I’m curious what do you think about this? Has it ever crossed your mind? Have you ever tried to delete your online self?
There is nothing social about social media
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March 19, 2020 at 11:57PM