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Thoughts on Social Media and Deriving Your Self-Worth from Other People’s Approval
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Today I deleted my Instagram. I’ve debated with the decision for awhile and finally bit the bullet tonight.
I felt good.
I’m sure you’ve all heard, to some degree, how social media is toxic for your mental health. It’s a place where you try to present the best image of yourself. And you get a high when other people approve of you. You place more value on how many likes your photos get, or how many followers you can gather, more than the actual experiences. If a photo didn’t get a lot of likes – did the real life experience lose its value, too?
You worry about who is or isn’t liking your photos, who is or isn’t following you back, etc. Sometimes you might even feel compelled to like other people's stuff too, just so they can "return the favor" when you post your stuff. The anxiety and FOMO makes you want to constantly check your phone, even when your mind should be occupied with other things, like how to cook yourself a good meal, learn something new, or something else to actually improve your life.
For some people, social media is what they do best. They’re willing to spend the time and energy to build up their clout, put themselves out there, and gain a lot of followers. It’s where they derive their self-worth from. Of course, if it’s also how they make their living, that’s a different story.
My mistake was that I spent my precious time and energy trying to be that person, when I am not. I mean, I probably could if I devote myself to it. Become more thick-skinned and less afraid of rejection, follow and like as much content as possible, taking selfies and editing endlessly so I’ll have amazing content to post, etc. But at the end of the day, what is it all for? It’s not going to help me get a promotion at work (unless I’m an influencer and need the followers) or make me smarter or more competent at life. I don’t deny that it might help you stay connected to other people. But at what cost, if you’re devoting most of your energy to this? How important are these people to you?
Also, when your self-worth mostly depends on what other people decide to do (following you, liking your content), that self-worth can be easily taken away, because you can’t control what other people do. It feels amazing when they decide to lift you up, but if they don’t, it eats away at you. You don’t know how to fill up your time. You don’t even know who you are inside anymore.
So today, as I deleted my Instagram, I made a vow to myself that I’m going to be the person that I truly am. I’ll have to accept that I’ll never become that shiny, popular person on social media. Instead of working so hard for other people’s approval, I’m going to work on my own. I’m going to learn to take care of myself better, exercise more, finish my economics book, start learning Spanish again, etc. No one can take away those achievements from me, and they’re the ones that will last.
TL;DR: Deleted Instagram, re-evaluated life, and am ready to shift my mindset toward real growth and development. Heck yeah.
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March 08, 2020 at 05:07AM